the talk!
by edward-cullen-maniac22
Summary: Okay here is another one of my famous random thoughts. Edward has to give renesmee ‘the talk’.really funny, i promise! you get father daughter awkwardness with edward and ness. and you get emmett being emmett! i really hope you like it! And please REVIEW!


Okay here is another one of my famous random thoughts. Edward has to give renesmee 'the talk' after he starts to her thoughts towards Jacob gets more physical. They are kissing now and even though she has her purity bracelet he still feels he needs to give her 'the talk' this story will most likely become part of my other story 'new friends'.

Edwards POV:

One week ago:

_Jake you are so hot!!! So muscular! Yummy! _

This was usually what my daughter has been thinking lately. I looked at her, and then at Jacob, and shook my head! She blushed and grabbed Jacobs hand and pulled him out of the house.

"Bella!!" I called when they were out in the forest. She came down the stairs and walked over to me, and put her arms around my waist.

"What, Edward?" before I answered I bent my head down and kissed her lightly on the lips. She laughed. "Okay, did you just want a kiss, or did you have something to say?" god, she is the only person that can totally distract me.

"I think you should talk to ness" I said once I regained focus.

"About?" I rolled my eyes, she is 16, and has a…boyfriend-I hate saying Jacob is my daughters boyfriend-what does she think she would have to talk to her about?

"Well, lately her thoughts have been…well they have been…" she laughed at me. "Hey don't laugh!" she tried to stop, but it didn't work very well.

"You are so adorable when you are nervous!" she said once she got her giggles under control. "you think ness needs…'the talk'?" I nodded. "Well, love, I think that would be better if you gave it" my mouth feel open.

"No way! I can't do that! I-I…no way!" she laughed again, and I sighed.

"You can do it, Edward!" she turned and ran up the stairs, but stopped before she was out of site. "I believe in you!" she said with sarcastic seriousness. Then laughed and mumbled 'good luck'. I sighed; I am not looking forward to giving her the talk! Ugh!

Present time:

Bella and I were in my old room waiting for ness to get home from Jakes. I don't like her being over at his house, but bella doesn't seem to mind, so I try to not let it get to me. every one was out hunting, but bella and I went last week so we were just listening to music, when I heard nessie's BMW bug, pull up the drive way. She walked in a few minutes later.

"Mom! Dad! Im home." I heard ness yell from down stairs. Bella laughed and left the house. She knew I was going to give ness 'the talk' now, and didn't want to be there. I walked down the stairs and saw ness watching TV. "Hey dad, what's up?" I took a shaky breath and she noticed my uncomfortable stance, and got nervous "what?!" I took another breath.

"Sit down, ness." She nodded slowly and sat down. I was trying to not listen to her thoughts, and realized that bella must have been shielding her. I will defiantly thank her for that later. "Ummm…we need to…talk" she scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion.

"Okay? What...do...we...need to...talk…about?" she asked worried. I can't believe how awkward this is. I took another deep breath.

"Well, I have noticed lately, that you and Jacob…well you r thoughts towards hi-"

"WAIT! Please, please, PLEASE, tell me you aren't about to give me 'the talk'" she cut me off; she turned bright red, and was breathing really heavy. I laughed remembering when Charlie gave this talk to bella…god, what did he say?

Flash back…

"Okay, bella. Here's the thing. You and Edward seem pretty serious, and there are some things that you need to be careful about. I know you are an adult now, but you're still young, bella, and there are a lot of important things you need to know when you…well, when you're physically involved with-"he then got cut off by bella.

…end flashback.

Okay here we go.

"Renesmee, I know that you don't want to talk about this-trust me I don't either- but we have to." She wouldn't make eye contact with me, and she was still breathing heavily.

"We really don't have to, dad! I know, don't…whatever…until im married. That's what the bracelet is for! We don't have to do this!" she finally looked at me, she looked scared to death. I don't even want to know what I looked like. "Anyway, shouldn't mom be doing this!" she asked after a few seconds.

"Tell me about it. Listen, I just want to make sure that you don't do anything you shouldn't. You are still young and like you said you should wait until you are married." Her face lost some of the red but she was still blushing.

"Yeah I got it! Can I go now!" I was about to answer when Emmett, Rosalie, esme, Alice, jasper, and Carlisle walked in. Emmett noticed renesmee blushing and had to comment.

"Wow, ness, you look like a tomato! What's up?" and then he looked at me and back at ness. "DID YOU JUST GET THE TALK?!" she turned an even deeper shade of red and Emmett took that as a yes and started laughing hysterically.

"Shut up!" ness yelled as she ran out of the room.

"Thank you Emmett, like it wasn't hard enough before! She is probably dying right now." I ran upstairs and saw-thank god!-bella with ness. She lifted her shield for a moment. _She is okay Edward. She is just like any other girl that has just had the talk with her father! But do me a favor…kick Emmett for me!_ And then she laughed in her head. I gladly accepted her request and went back down stairs.

"How is she? You didn't traumatize her to much right?" Alice asked as I came in the living room. I didn't answer her; I just walked right up to Emmett.

"This is from bella and me." and then I kicked him, right where he doesn't want to be kicked with all of my strength. He feels to the floor.

"OH-MY-GOD!!!!" he moaned on the floor.

"Think before you speak next time Emmett!" he was still moaning on the floor, and every one was cracking up. I even heard ness laugh with bella from upstairs.

Okay so that was just about as bad as I thought it was gonna being. But thank god it is over, now bella gets to do all of the other stuff! I am not looking forward to when that starts!

Oh Emmett! Haha I love making him say stuff like that! Well review, and tell me if you want to see this from nessie's POV! Like I said before this will probably get added to 'new friends' but im not sure. Well I hope you liked it! Go on; REVIEW!!!!!!!!!


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